“Who is this so-called Harvey? And why is the fake news talking about him so much?” – Donald J. Trump
By: Helen A. HandbasketFancyGolfCourse, FL – Ever since the solar eclipse on Monday, White House leakers are telling the press that the President was infuriated by the rare event. They report that Trump shook his fist at the sky and complained, "The sun and the moon are my enemies. They want everyone to forget, for a few hours, about my historic win and the fact that I have accomplished more than anyone since Jefferson Davis was president." Reportedly, the President asked Chief of Staff, John Kelly, if NASA could stop the eclipse from occurring. "Do you think," he allegedly inquired, "that the moon could be knocked out of its orbit? I have been wanting to see how those nuclear codes work."
Now Mother Nature is once again conspiring to take the spot light off of Donald J. Trump and he is not happy. He was heard yelling, at the TV, "Who the hell is this Harvey?" Later, in a meeting, the President apparently told staffers, "I have got to get the dishonest media talking about me again and not some "bleeping" hurricane. Maybe I'll pardon O.J. Simpson or fire Mike Pence or I could send all the Muslim grandmothers to an internment camp. Maybe I'll just say that the storm is a hoax thought up by some very bad hombres who are all on a witch hunt to get me."