Orange Lie

Wouldn’t it be Amazing if…

By: Helen A. Handbasket
April 22, 2018

1. The U.S. poet laureate wrote a poem using words that rhyme with Trump, like grump, plump, dump, frump, rump, and hump.
2. Melania looked on Amazon for an ankle monitor small enough to fit Donald's teenie weinie.
3. When Donald finally decides to fire Robert Mueller, he has to go through the entire hierarchy at Justice until he finds a janitor willing to do the job.
4. Four out of five doctors agreed that most Republicans have chunks of ice where their hearts should be.
5. Donald Trump thought that the stealth plane was actually invisible. Oh, wait. He does.
6. Upon autopsy, Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan were found to have spines.
7. Someone switched Donald's tan-in-a-can with a can of orange spray paint and no one noticed the difference.