Wash your hair in bubble gum.
By: Todd LerLondon, England – President Trump declared yet another national emergency to officially pop all those balloons that make him look like a baby throwing a hissy fit.
He tweeted earlier today, “The ‘Fake News’ is telling everyone that I act like an entitled little brat that screams and cries and stamps my feet when I don’t get my way. Disgraceful and disgusting Fake News!”
Moments later, he tweeted, “In edition to being a very stable jeanyuss, with perhaps the biggest IQ of ANY President, I am also the most yoothful, most maturest President EVER! MAGA!”
And moments after that, he tweeted, “I am NOT a whiny, bratty, orange baby! I’m not! I’m not! I’m not!”
The first order of business when Trump returns to the U.S., is to have his staff go around the room and tell everyone how mature he is, after Sarah Huckabee Sanders gives him his binky.