Orange Lie

Big League Plans

By: Helen A. Handbasket
August 19, 2020

Washington, D.C. – Recently, President Trump was asked what plans he has for the nation if he is re-elected. His answer led some people to think that he didn't have any, but that is not true. A newly leaked memo has revealed that Trump has big plans for 2021. Next week, during the Republican convention, the following platform will be revealed.

1. Ban water-saving shower heads.
2. "Upgrade" Mt. Rushmore by adding his face.
3. Open a museum on the Washington Mall to honor Confederate generals.
4. Put Hillary in jail for existing.
5. Order all fast food restaurants to open up.
6. Amend the Constitution to do away with free speech and the right to peacefully assemble.
7. Completely do away with the Post Office and put a carrier pigeon service in place so that ballots will never be delivered.
8. Improve international relations by hosting a big White House party for all his favorite dictators.
9. Enact more tax advantages for the super-rich.
10. Sell Puerto Rico.

Good luck America.