Orange Lie

Excuses, excuses

It was the Ambien!

By: Helen A. Handbasket
June 1, 2018

Washington, D.C. – It is no secret that Donald Trump is upset that AG Jeff Sessions recused himself from involvement in the Russian probe. Now Trump is floating the idea that Sessions can "unrecuse" himself. An unnamed source overheard and reported the following attempt to give Sessions a way to undo his recusal.

Trump: "Sessions, you've got to stop this witch hunt. Tell the nation that you had your fingers crossed when you recused yourself. Say that you were kidding."

Sessions: "Mr. President, everyone could see that my fingers weren't crossed."

Trump: "Well, then, say you weren't thinking straight because you take Ambien. It worked for Roseanne."

Sessions: "Now everyone hates Roseanne."

Trump: "OK. You made a big mistake because the dog ate your homework."

Sessions: “With all due respect, sir, that makes no sense."

Trump: "It doesn't have to make sense. Ninety nine percent of what I say doesn't make sense, but, if I say it enough times everyone believes me."