50 Yard Penalty!
By: Ray ZinnAtlanta, GA – The NFL has enacted a new policy requiring the players to stand for the national anthem. In the past few years many players have peacefully protested racial inequality and police brutality by sitting or kneeling quietly during the national anthem at football games. After Donald Trump, who doesn’t even know the words to the national anthem, called the players “sons of bitches” and suggested that players who don’t stand for the anthem don’t belong in this country, the NFL rolled over and succumb to Trump’s bullying. Players who kneel or sit during the national anthem are now subject to penalties and fines.
Doug Baldwin, of the Seattle Seahawks, responded by calling Trump an “idiot”. Bad move, Baldwin! According to the new policy, you just cost the Seahawks a 10 yard penalty. Brandon Marshall, of the Broncos, cost them 20 yards, by calling Trump “disgusting”. Calling the president a “moron” costs 30 yards. “F-ing moron”, 50 yards. Touchdown for the other team! And not clapping for the president, that’s treason. Players will be ejected from the game, face a $50,000 fine, and are subject to deportation.
The game of football has forever been changed by Donald Trump. The 2018-2019 season is already in the books. Pro-Trump Tom Brady and his Patriots have already won Superbowl LIII. As for the Oakland Raiders, the team will disband after many of the players are deported.