Orange Lie

Find a Mate

By: Helen A. Handbasket
August 26, 2018

Ladies, do you have a weird craving for humiliation and public embarrassment? If so, then it would be helpful to be married to a senator, congressman, cabinet member, or even a president. But where to find such a man? Answer the following questionnaire and if all your answers are "yes" then there is the perfect dating website for you.

Are you attracted to men who:

1. Think illegal activity is just good business?
2. Like to spend other people's money.
3. Live an ostentatious life style and flaunt it?
4. Think that tax evasion, bank fraud, and money laundering are classes taught at Wharton.
5. Believe that affairs are entitlements for the rich?
6. Would use campaign funds to buy a $600 plane ticket for their pet rabbit?

You don't have to be lonely. Go to OnlySwampCreatures.com to find the perfect mate.