Washington, D.C. – Thanks to that highly accurate source of information, Qanon, many Americans are now aware that Democrats eat babies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. However, most people don't know that Hillary Clinton is hard at work writing a cookbook. Rumor has it that there will be recipes for baked babies, fried babies, sauteed babies, fricasseed babies, baby dumplings, babies a la king, barbequed babies, and babies dipped in chocolate sauce for dessert. And as an added treat there will be a recipe for Mitch McConnell turtle soup.
Yum! My mouth is watering. But I digress.
Qanon followers are going to be outraged to learn that the fly that landed on Mike Pence's perfectly coiffed silver airstrip during the debate was no ordinary pest. It was a spy sent by the Democrats.
It's so obvious. What do flies do when they land on poo? They lay their eggs. That fly laid an egg containing a hidden microphone in Mike's hair so that the Democrats could spy on the Trump/Pence campaign. Robert Mueller, please investigate.
Now you know, Qanon. You're welcome.