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Fun Facts about DJT and his Peeps

By: Helen A. Handbasket
March 5, 2017

Here are some little known, but fun, facts about Donald Trump and his associates:

  1. Donald does know how to read. His favorite books are Dictatorships for Dummies and Dale Carnegie's How to Alienate Friends and Intimidate People.

  2. Steve Bannon does not own a bed. When he is tired, he hangs upside-down in a closet. Bannon was abandoned at birth and raised by wolves.

  3. General Flynn carries a fire extinguisher and a ruler in his pocket. He is afraid that his pants will catch on fire and that his nose is growing longer.

  4. Betsy DeVos asked the President to add grizzly bears to his immigrant list. She was shocked to learn that grizzlies are not immigrants.

  5. When Attorney General Jeff Sessions was 6 years old, he asked Santa Claus for a white sheet and a torch.

  6. Trump's pilot does not dare to taxi down the runway for Melania's trip home, following a weekend with Donald, until after he hears her sigh of relief. He is afraid that the high wind will push the plane into the grass.

  7. Dr. Ben Carson is not only a collegiate expert in brain surgery, from personal experience; he is also an expert in brain farts.

  8. Although Paul Ryan is eager to repeal and replace Obamacare, he wants to keep the pre-existing condition clause intact as his lack of a spine is considered a pre-existing condition.

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