Be Best!
By: Luke SkyhopperWashington, D.C. – It has come to our attention that not only does first lady Melania Trump hate Christmas, she hates Easter too. Her ex-best friend has published a scathing new book called, “Melania and Pee”, which tells all the salacious details of Melania and her urine-obsessed husband, President Donald Trump.
After finding out how much Melania hates Christmas, here’s what our first lady said about Easter: “F*** Easter! I hate tacky pastel colors. I hate snot-nosed kids rolling stupid-ass easter eggs on my lawn. I hate chocolate bunnies and those disgusting pink sugary marshmallows shaped like birds. I want to f***ing punch Sean Spicer in his jelly beans! And why do we have to go to church? I mean really. What is the point? What does a big rabbit have anything to do with church? Un-f***ing believable!”
Melania responded via twitter explaining that it was all fake news. It never happened. Lies! All lies! She barely knew her ex-best friend.
After her ex-best friend released the taped recordings of the conversation, proving that she did say those things, Melania responded once again via twitter. “She taped me? How dare she! She can’t do that! I’ll just get Donald to sic the Justice Department on her! I don’t really care. Do you? Be best!”