"I had to ask Siri 'what is a honky tonk'?" says one man.
By: Jim SoxAfter a long and exhausting presidential campaign, many people thought the national anthem needed to be updated to reflect and represent today’s America. Washington officials decided a vote by the people was the fairest way to choose the next song to become the national anthem. After a long process of vetting several potential songs, it came down to two choices. Here are the results:
Winner with 152 votes – “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” by Trace Adkins
Loser with 2,982,372 votes – “It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)” by R.E.M
Many people are wondering how the song with nearly 3 million more votes could lose. It is because of an antiquated voting process called the “selection university”. The selection university gives a certain number of votes to each state, supposedly based on the state’s population. Sometimes this system works okay. Other times the majority of the people get royally screwed and a smaller group of people get to decide how everyone else lives. Says Clive Beasley of Liberty, Mississippi, “We aint’ lettin’ dem kwin-noah eatin’ coastal ill-eats pick ar song.” Coastal elite, Chance DuPont, from San Francisco, admits, as he eats his quinoa bowl, “I had to ask Siri ‘what is a honky tonk?'”