“Let them eat paper towels,” says Trump.
By: Al BeebackWashington, D.C. – One of Donald Trump’s private conversations has just been released revealing what many people already knew; he is a huge moron.
Trump: “Why should we help Puerto Rico? America first, right?”
Disaster Relief Advisor: “Well, Mr. Trump, Puerto Rico is part of America. The Puerto Ricans are American citizens.”
Trump: “Puerto Ricans are American citizens? Can you believe it?”
Disaster Relief Advisor: “Hurricane Maria devastated Puerto Rico. They need our help. They don’t have electricity, potable water, or food.”
Trump: “I know what to do! Let’s throw beautiful, soft paper towels at them!”
Disaster Relief Advisor: “With all due respect sir, what are they going to do with paper towels?”
Trump: “They are going to clean up their own mess. They want everything done for them when it should be a community effort.”
Disaster Relief Advisor: “Ok, sir. Thank you for the paper towels…”
Trump (interrupting): “…beautiful, soft paper towels, may I add.”
Disaster Relief Advisor: “…yes, beautiful, soft paper towels. Thank you, sir. But the people need water, medical supplies, and food. What are they supposed to eat?”
Trump: “Let them eat paper towels.”
Disaster Relief Advisor: “Sir, paper towels are not edible.”
Trump: “Really? Poor people don’t eat paper towels? Can you believe it? Well, here you go…” as Trump pulls a hundred dollar bill out of his pocket and hands it to the advisor.
Disaster Relief Advisor: “What am I supposed to do with this, sir?”
Trump: “Give it to the Puerto Ricans. At least a hundred of them should be able to rebuild their homes with that.”
Disaster Relief Advisor: “Sir, homes cost more than a dollar each.”
Trump: “Fake news. I’m hearing things… Gary Cohn told me that you can renovate a kitchen, buy a new car, take a family vacation and increase your lifestyle with $1000.”
Disaster Relief Advisor (very frustrated, at this point): “Tillerson was right. You ARE a moron!”
Trump: “The democrats put you up to this! Such a nasty, nasty Disaster Relief Advisor!”