Movie Review Special Edition
By: Doug A. HoleHollywood, CA – The new must-see summer movie blockbuster movie, “Sausage Party Saves the World” is breaking all the records. With a budget of 1 trillion dollars, this movie is sure to exceed expectations. In this exciting, heart-stopping movie, a bunch of high-up white male government officials enlists help from a bunch of alcoholic, soft-porn-loving white dudes and one token person-of-color to save the world from an alien-infested meteor headed straight for Earth. The sausage party’s mission is to save the world, while their lovely ladies bravely stay on Earth and look up at the sky with concern.
With a PG-13 rating, there is sure to be lots of science-y talk, lots of big stars, like Brad Pitt, Matt Damon and Kevin James, bros shooting at stuff and bros blowing up stuff. There will also be at least one side-boob shot by one of the leading ladies, whoever they are. (And rest assure, whoever the leading lady is, she was paid 70% of what the male actors made.) There will also be some embarrassing pillow-talk about animal crackers climbing up twin peaks, with Aerosmith playing in the background.
You might ask why none of the women help save the world. Haha! You are joking, right? Ladies can't save the world. They are too busy getting their nails done and for the love of Pete, the hormones!
Spoiler alert. In the end, a couple of the dudes will die in the end. But their surviving ladies will look up in the sky with a smile of pride because their drunken boyfriend sobered-up enough to save the world. Yay! The sausage party saved all the helpless women! Wait… I feel like I’ve seen this movie before…