Colleville-sur-Mer, France – Today Donald Trump went to Normandy to honor the men who fought and died on the beaches defending the world from Adolf Hitler. Surprisingly, his speech was appropriate and respectful thanks to the efforts of White House speechwriters. However, an unnamed source says that originally, Trump planned to give a speech that he had written. The leaked text is as follows:
"We are gathered here, on these hallowed grounds, to thank the fallen soldiers of WW II. Luckily, I am able to attend this year because it isn't raining.
These men are true heroes. They died for their country, not like John McCain who only got captured. I like men who die.
At this time we also remember their leader General Dwight Eisenhower. A lot of people say that if I had been leading our troops that I would have been the greatest general of all times. I couldn't have been here, though, because I have a crippling foot problem. Thank goodness it won't keep me from playing a round of golf this afternoon."