Orange Lie

Suns Out, Guns Out

Florida dating pool just got a whole lot bigger.

By: Betty Wood
March 10, 2018

Miami, FL – Florida gun people are sick and tired of being discriminated against for their love of their guns. Luckily they have the NRA to write the laws in Florida and pay the politicians to pass those laws. The NRA just drafted a new law making it legal for Floridians to marry their guns. Now people can literally have a shotgun wedding. But, what if they can’t decide between their shotgun, or one of their handguns, or one of their assault rifles…. It’s a conundrum. The NRA has thought of this too and has a solution. Polygamy. Floridians will soon be able to marry multiple guns.

Here are some interesting shows we can expect to see next season:

TLC, “Sister Guns”

HBO, “Big Gun Love”

FX, “Holey Matrimony”

A&E, “Real HouseGuns from Jacksonville”

Discovery, “Deadliest Catch, Florida Edition”

And the Dr. Phil show is about to get a lot more interesting. Upcoming episodes include:

“My gun never empties the dishwasher.”

“Help! I’m pregnant but I don’t think my gun is the father.”

“My spouse accidently shot me, but I still love him.”

“We had a misfire, but we’ll give it another try.”