“I’ve never cussed so much in my life,” says one citizen.
By: R. U. KittingSacramento, CA – The last eight months have shown an interesting trend in “swear jar” statistics. The number of household swear jars is growing exponentially.
A “swear jar” is a system of collecting a local tax on a person for cussing. Each time the person says a swear word, they must pay the jar. The tax rate differs depending on the household district and the severity of the word. “F-bombs” cost more than a “sh*t”, for example. Some have found loopholes around paying the tax by substituting words. Instead of dropping an F-bomb, they may say something like, “Effing Mitch McConnell wants to take away my gosh-darn health insurance!” Or instead of “The sh*tty GOP is ruining this country,” they say “The poopy GOP is ruining this country.”
Families have collectively raised over a trillion dollars from cursing at their television while watching CNN and MSNBC. “I’ve never cussed so much in my life,” says one citizen. “I don’t know how much more verbal abuse my television can take. I’ll probably use my swear jar money to buy a new tv.”