What do you have to lose?
By: Helen A. HandbasketWashington, D.C. – Last Thursday President Genius/medical expert Donald Trump suggested that putting disinfectants or UV light into our bodies might kill the coronavirus. Luckily, I have some better ideas.
Leeches, for one! Cover your body with bloodsuckers then sit back and relax while the thirsty little critters vacuum the virus out. Easy peasy cure.
Speaking of vacuuming...it would be a good idea if you gave your virus infested nostrils a good Hoovering once a day. Use the crevice tool.
Drinking gallons of prune juice is a good way to cleanse the system. It is a scientific fact that viruses don't like prune juice any more than we do. Sitting on the toilet for hours shouldn't be a problem since we're all stuck at home anyway. Set up a small desk and multi-task while you are waiting to flush away the coronavirus.
Prevention, of course, is the best choice. Try this. Several times a day say to yourself, “I’m immune to viruses" and then knock on wood. Knocking on wood is a time tested and proven way to prevent disasters.
Go ahead and give my ideas a whirl. What the hell do you have to lose? They are better than drinking Lysol.